


Shell Sh(erl)ocked

by raincoats_in_summer



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-07
Updated: 2014-03-07
Packaged: 2018-01-14 21:12:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1278994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raincoats_in_summer/pseuds/raincoats_in_summer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bit of a surprise near 221B leading to Sherlock speechless.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shell Sh(erl)ocked

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys like!

Bored. Come home now. -SH 

I'm at my sister's flat. I can't just leave. -JW 

Make up an excuse. -SH 

What? 'Sherlock's bored so I need to go and entertain him. Is that ok with you?' -JW 

I was thinking something more creative. -SH

No. I'll be home by tea time. Now go do an experiment or something. -JW 

Fine. But expect the flat to smell like dead gecko for a week. -SH 

If you go down to that pet store I swear to god I'll break your microscope. -JW 

If you touch it I'll burn five geckos and a hamster. -SH 

No you won't because I'll tell the pet store owner you killed his precious animals. -JW 

At the pet store. -SH 

Leave. Now. -JW 

Make me. -SH 

I'll call your brother and tell him you've decided to become a nudist. -JW 

He won't believe you. -SH 

Bought it. -SH 

Fine. I'll make up an excuse. Return the gecko now. -JW 

Gecko's back. You better be here within fifteen minutes. -SH 

25 and it's a deal. -JW 

Bye. -SH 

Bye. -JW 

John shut his phone off and turned to see Harry who was staring at him intensely. 

"Are you sexting Sherlock?" Harry asked as though it was some naughty thing he'd done. 

"What? No. It's Lestrade. Says he's got a triple murder we need to look into. I'm sorry but I've got to go." John said, reaching for his bag. 

"Can't Sherlock look into that himself. Why's he got to have you there?" 

"You know what he's like. He's got to have someone to protect him from the million police officers he's pissed off." 

Harry smirked, "I think it's cause he likes you." 

John's face became a dark pink partially because of anger, and partially embarrassment, "Shut up! He doesn't like me. He's not even gay!"

"Yea yea. He's married to his work bla bla bla. But did you ever realise you're his work?" 

John, who was extremely flustered, quietly stated, "Sherlock does not like me and if you would excuse me I need to go investigate three deaths." 

John grabbed his satchel and left the apartment hurriedly while his sister wondered when John would finally realise Sherlock loved him. Madly. 

***

John caught a cab when Sherlock began to text him. 

On my way home. Don't blow anything up. -JW 

You've only got ten minutes. -SH

Why are you counting? -JW 

Bored. Passes the time. -SH 

Find something to do for ten minutes. Like clean the living room, or make tea. -JW 

Dull. I think I'll run a short experiment. -SH 

Please don't. -JW 

What is your favourite animal? -SH

Otters. -JW 

When you were a child, what career did you want to have? -SH 

Lots. First it was a burglar, you know the cool kinds that were in all the movies. Then an astronaut. And then a doctor which I stuck with. -JW 

What is your favourite sport? -SH

Rugby. -JW 

Do you think these questions are completely pointless? -SH 

Yes. -JW 

New experiment! Guess what I'm wearing. -SH 

A purple shirt with black pants. -JW 

No. -JW

A sheet. -JW 

Please tell me I won't have to call Mycroft to tell him you're a nudist. -JW

No. Why would you assume I'm nude? -SH

Dressing gown with pyjama pants. -JW

Wrong. You are horrible at this. -SH 

A giant panda bear costume? -JW 

Why would you even guess that? I have no love for costumes or pandas. -SH 

It's called sarcasm. -JW 

Keep guessing. -SH 

I don't know. Just tell me. -JW 

I'm wearing my crossing guard uniform. Do you think I could pass for the crossing guard on 23rd street? -SH 

She's a woman with red hair. -JW 

Experiment over. -SH 

What? -JW 

You obviously find the crossing guard attractive although she makes minimum wage and is rather unintelligent. -SH 

No. I just passed 23rd street. -JW 

Are you actually wearing the crossing guard uniform? -JW 

Of course not. I was lying. It's rather easy over text. -SH 

How often do you lie to me through text? -JW 

Not too often. It's usually just Mycroft and Lestrade and whoever else is being extremely annoying. -SH 

Ok. Almost home. -JW 

With three minutes to spare! Not bad. -SH 

Shut up. -JW 

I'm not speaking. I'm typing. -SH 

Don't be a dickhead. -JW

Getting out now. -JW 

John slipped out and quickly paid the cabbie. The cab silently drove off as John opened the door to 221b. 

"I'm home! Are you happy?" He yelled as he came upstairs. 

"No! I'm bored. Do something." Sherlock said as John entered the living room. Sherlock lay on the couch with his head, face down, in the sofa cushion. 

"Why the hell are you laying like that?" John questioned. 

"It somehow alleviates some of the boredom." 

"Sit up like a normal person." John commanded as he moved his flatmate's feet, causing Sherlock to fall into the fetal position. 

"I could of if you hadn't pushed me." Sherlock said as he moved about so that he was sitting, rather close to John. 

"I see my first guess was right."

"Yes it was. Why did you think I would be nude anyway?" 

"Asks the man who once sat in Mrs. Hudson's flat for two hours in his underwear just to see how much it would scare her." 

"It was an important experiment. I wanted to see which she would reply to first, my presence or my dress." 

"Which one was it?" 

"Presence. Though she did mention both in one sentence. But presence was the first thing to be mentioned." 

John sat in silence, both unsure of what to say. Sherlock took John's silence as an invitation to lay down, thus he did so. After a moment of shuffling his head was in John's lap and his feet were off the side of the couch. 

"What are you doing?" John asked, unsure what to do. 

"I'm laying down. Pretty obvious." Sherlock remarked. 

"Yes, but you're laying down in my lap." 

"And?" Sherlock said as he nuzzled even deeper into his newfound pillow. 

"It's my lap. You can't just lay down in MY lap." 

"I just did so." 

John sighed at Sherlock's persistence. It was hard to live with such a stubborn ass all the time. 

Instead of acting like a normal flatmate, John found himself reaching for Sherlock's hair. It was surprisingly wiry, unlike the soft curls he'd expected to feel. He let his hand brush through it, it felt nice and it calmed him. They both sat quietly as Sherlock wandered off to his mind palace and John did something unlike anything he'd ever done. 

***

About half an hour later John awoke Sherlock from his trance. 

"My leg is asleep. Get up." John hissed. 

Sherlock ignored him, John then proceeded to dump Sherlock onto the floor. Sherlock woke as though he'd been blasted in the ear with an air horn. 

"Fuck-" he cursed, "what the hell?" 

"I told you to get up. You didn't so I moved to plan B." 

"You could've just said the key word." 

"What key word?" 

"The one we discussed last Monday. At six or so." Sherlock said as he moved so that he was lying on the floor. 

"I was on a date. Do you just keep on talking when I'm gone?" 

"Probably. You're pretty quiet in your leavings." 

"Sorry. What was the word you and imaginary me agreed on?" 

"Chicken." 

"Why chicken?" 

"It's a word that we don't often say." 

"Why couldn't it be something we normally say? Like crime or something." 

"Because I might be in the middle of a very important solution when you accidentally say crime. Then I come snapping back to reality, completely in the dark on what the solution was." 

"Sorry. Just wanted to know why chicken had to be what brought you back." 

"I chose chicken in particular because I'm not very fond of it, so you wouldn't be suggesting it casually for dinner." 

"That's all I needed." 

"Good. Now if you'll excuse me I've got to explore my mind palace." Sherlock said as he moved to get onto the couch. 

John sighed and said, "chicken" in Sherlock's ear. 

Sherlock, who was staring at the side of the couch fumed for a moment then turned to John, "What do you want?" He hissed. 

"You did not call me back here so that I could stare at you while you go in your mind palace. Now give me one good reason not to yell at you."

"You would upset Mrs. Hudson. And I didn't intend for you to stare at me." 

"Well what did you intend for me to do?" 

Sherlock looked John up and down and murmured something incoherent. 

"What was that?" John asked Sherlock like he was speaking to a rude child. 

"Nothing." Sherlock whispered. 

"Sherlock Holmes tell me what you said." John said heatedly. He was not in the mood for Sherlock's shit. 

"I said we could kiss." Sherlock murmured slightly louder. 

John, who'd heard every word was shell-shocked for a moment. He'd guessed Sherlock had given a rude comment or deduction. But John would've never guessed this. 

While John stared in shock Sherlock stood up, kissed John's cheek, then walked into the kitchen to do an experiment or something. 

After a few moments John came snapping back to reality. "Fuck," he said quite loudly. 

"It's a bit too early in our relationship, don't you think?" Sherlock yelled from the kitchen. 

"Why the hell'd you just do that?" John stormed into the kitchen where Sherlock had already begun burning something. 

"Fairly obvious," Sherlock continued to burn the object while John stood fuming next to him. 

"You do realise I'm not gay?" 

"And you do realise I'm married to my work? It's called an exception to the rule," 

"And how do you expect me to respond to that?" 

Sherlock, who'd already calculated in his head answered, "I expect you to move out for a few days, go on a "self discovery mission," realise that it's the right choice, then move back in where we will have a heartfelt moment then decide it's the right choice."

John replied, "you are a bastard."

"No. My parents were married before my conception. Mycroft, however, is indeed a bastard." 

"No, you're a bastard cause I've already made up my mind." John said, Sherlock looked up to see John with a little grin on his face. 

John leaned over, kissed Sherlock, on the mouth, then went back into the living room to write up a blog entry. 

Sherlock stood in the kitchen, burner in hand, with his mouth closed and his eyes fixed on the floor.


End file.
